Today, Myles' daycare had a Thanksgiving lunch. Parents were invited to join their children and share a meal and fellowship with other families. It was never an option for Billy and I not to attend. We were signed up the day the sheet was posted.
And yes, the lunch was nice. It was great to see Myles in the middle of the day. What wasn't nice was the scene Myles made when we had to leave! He became so hysterical, I was afraid he would get sick. He cried uncontrollably when it was time for Billy and me to go. Ms. Carla tried very hard to console him but nothing would work. I hung around for about 10 minutes trying to say my good-byes. Billy hung around 30 minutes. It went from bad to worse when I had to leave.
So the question I'm pondering is whether it's the right thing to even attend these gatherings when it's not reasonable to take the rest of the day off. If this were a mid- to even late-afternoon function, I would have skipped out early. But it was over at 12:15. I don't have a lot of vacation or personal days and as you can imagine, my sick days get used up quickly with actual sickness.
There were only about 4 kids from his class and under 10 total who did not have a parent there. Those children had lunch with their teachers...same food, same room, but off in the far corner. At this young age, I'm not sure they know they're missing anything.
But as I saw those few kids sitting without parents, I felt sad for them. Should I? Maybe their parents don't attend these things because they have been through what we went through today. It's something I never thought I'd consider. But then again, I'm not sure I can see Myles as upset as he was today too many times.
So what's worse -- having him eat Thanksgiving lunch with his teachers while 80% of the class enjoys it with a parent or two? Or watching him cry uncontrollably as we return to work? I welcome everyone's feedback!
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5 comments:
My daughter's "school" aka daycare at her age, has these events later in the day so that you can take them home afterwards. I could never go for a lunch and then leave because my daughter would completely freak out as well. Once she sees mommy, she thinks it's time to go.
Jenna...does it help at all to hear that this phase will someday pass? Or so I've heard....
Lindsi's first grade class had a special event today & when I had to leave, she cried because she wanted me to either stay or let her come home early. It's one reason I don't volunteer in her class, she still has her moments like this, but not always. Remember, she's 6.
Jami, at 3 would not understand me coming & leaving again, so I would skip these type of events. I think if you can make a day of it, then it's OK to participate. Maybe you & Billy can take turns attending these functions in the future.
I'm sure before you know it though, he'll be pushing you out the door.
Debby
Hi Jenna - I don't think that they have the 'reasoning' skills yet to understand that we have to go back to work. They are so happy to see us... If I couldn't take him home after the event, I wouldn't attend. Would your manager let you work remotely on occasions like this one?
I had those same thoughts when my husband and I attended our 2 yr old daughter's parent Thanksgiving lunch at her preschool. She and another child were the only 2 out of 9 that had parents attend (from the 2 yr old classroom). I worried about her not understanding why we came and didn't pick her up....but thankfully she seemed satisfied with our explanation that we just came to eat lunch and daddy would be back later to get her.
But, I definitely think they're too young at that age for that kind of event. The ones who didn't have parents, didn't really seem to notice because they stayed in the classroom and ate with the teacher.
My mom ran a daycare. When she had new kids especially, the parents would stop by on their lunches to check on them....and inevitably the kids would freak out b/c they couldn't leave with their parents. If you think about it, most kids aren't dropped off and then seen by their parents just for a short period of time and then gone again. The have associated their parents arrival with going home. I know it must have been hard for you to see Myles react that way, but it seems quite normal. I would try to attend all the functions that happen late in the day or at night. But the mid-day ones may have to be postponed until he is older to understand.
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