I'm going through another "feeling guilty phase." Lately, Myles has been (to put it lightly) clingy with me, particularly in the evenings. He wants 100% of my attention at all times.
So I've had a choice to make...do I give him every moment of my attention from the time I pick him up until the time he drifts off to sleep, sacrificing time with Billy, making dinner, tidying things up and getting in some "me" time? Or do I teach him now that even though I'm away from him for 45 hours a week, I need even more time to spend on things other than him?
It's a real struggle. The latest thing to suffer was the 4-week Bible study I'd joined on Wed. nights. Myles absolutely did not want me to pick him up, then take him to another childcare setting for 90 minutes so that I could learn about how to love. So I missed the last class. I couldn't refuse the time with him. I would have missed the 3rd class as well if it weren't for the fact that Billy got off early that night and was able to meet me at the church and pick him up. After all, he won't want to spend time with me forever! Another issue is I have gained 5 pounds (that I did NOT need to gain) because we're not eating as well and I'm exercising very rarely.
I truly want to spend time with Myles, but I am struggling more than ever to make time for things other than work and being a mom. There's no time for cooking, no time for laundry (until after he finally crashes at around 9:30 p.m.), and no time for spending time with my poor husband, again until after he goes to bed and the bare minimum chores are done.
I love my job and what I do, but I truly wish I could shave about 10 hours a week off my work schedule right about now. That, of course, will not happen, so for now, I'm searching for the right balance, as well as any advice anyone has to offer. I welcome your thoughts.
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Me again...the other 'working mom'. :) If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way sometimes...and I think at some point, I will work less hours (be home when Joshua gets home from school). I even try to come home for lunch to get chores done so I don't have to do them after work. As far as working out, I can't remember where you live? If we live close enough and you are open to waking up EARLY, maybe we could start a walking routine. I need someone to keep me motivated. Let me know...just a thought...before the kids wake up! :)
Jenna....Do you have a Crockpot? Here is a GREAT! Blog to follow & get dinner ideas off of:
http://crockpot365.blogspot.com
You can put your meal in just before you leave in the morning & a good dinner will be practically ready when you et home. The author does a good job of reviewing the meals & giving her kids reactions. We've made a few things & I know Pam has too. All has been good.
Good luck. It really sounds like you need a 4 day work week! It ight also be age with Myles. I just read a good article in Parenting that talked about the 1/2 yr ages as being the periods of real growth & transition for kids. I see it with Jami.
Debby
hi friend :)
I struggle with some of the same things but I have read some great things about the different seasons in our lives and that this short season when our kids are small is one where it's ok to let things like laundry or chores get backed up so that you CAN get down on the floor with him for the whole evening and play... or walk... or draw pictures... whatever you guys want to do to make him feel connected and you less guilty. Maybe we should take the kids on walks right before dinner instead of going alone at night.... they'd probably love it. Maybe a career change is in order... maybe a 3 day work week... maybe half days instead of full days... maybe a home based business (YOU could totally do that).... you're a great mom for being this in tune with him to want to make it better for all of you.
I meant to sign that last post -- it's Cherrah :)
Hi, Jenna... I feel this way all the time, and my toddler is going through a clingy phase right now, too -- it really, really raises the guilt level. I try to remember that if I'm not taking care of myself and my needs, then I won't be able to take care of anyone else's very well for very long, either.
Having my kids "help" (in quotes because, really, how helpful is it all the time?) makes them feel better, gives us a little one-on-one time, and sometimes even teaches them a new skill or idea (most recently for my youngest: eggs are fragile)!
Good luck... lots of us working moms are in the same boat!
-- Lylah at The 36-Hour Day
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